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[26 Sep 2008|09:23pm] |
*sigh* four hours and no call.....
fuck it
im changin into my pjs and not taking any calls
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[26 Sep 2008|07:58pm] |
oh and im tired of sitting around my house all dressed up and feeling like im being ditched cause someone says "yeah i'll be there in like half and hour or fourty-five minutes" and two and a half hours pass without a call.
i dunno maybe it would be a good thing if i get ditched tonight. im totally having an emo/menstrual night....
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| lame but slightly amusing |
[07 Dec 2007|01:11am] |
 Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
In February I punched ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) checkeredchick in the arm (-10 points). In September I ruled Asscrackistan as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). In July on a flight to Colorado Springs, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). In August I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points). Last Tuesday I pulled kissofanangel's hair (-5 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-367 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!
Sincerely,
abandoned1 |
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| just an idea... a brilliant one though |
[07 Nov 2007|01:37pm] |
god i really want to do a photoshoot on the property of my new place. theres a bunch of real trains and buildings from the late 1800s. i want to get some kind of victiorian costume or two and so a whole shoot. i dont know how much it would be to rent one though... i think it would be alot of fun though. the first time i was walking around the property i was like god i really want to get dressed up with a few friends and take pictures!! none of my friends have even seen any of it yet cause they have only been over at night but im sure they would agree that it would fucking grand to do something like that.
oh and today i woke up with a note, a pair of tweezers, and a twenty dollar bill next to my bed. i thought it was rather odd....
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| short update of everything |
[04 Nov 2007|02:21pm] |
-my mom found a rental house for all of us to stay in while we try to rebuild our house(no idea how long thats gonna take)
-people have been giving us donations all week(furniture and whatnot) lots of donations from mormans haha theyve been so awesome to us. i guess it totally does pay to hae the right connections
-been awake every morning around 7(after going to sleep around 3 or 4 goddamn insomnia) because theres just so much shit to do that it takes all fucking day
-depression still really sucks
-saw iamx last night. fucking amazing. stayed in l.a. for the night got to the hotel at like 12:30am went to sleep at like 2 and got woken up at 6. ugh.
-halloween was pretty fun. i got trashed. well more trashed than i have been for a long time now. it was pretty great. i havent even seen the pictures yet though. kinda scary thought. haha
-tomorrow is my birthday. dont know what im going to do. probably nothing.
-i dont think tone even remembers that its tomorrow im supposed to see him on tuesday. i saw him a few days ago... it had been a while. it was a bit weird but then not at the same time. hes changed so much....
-the woman gave us/me 3 50's looking kitchen aprons. they are so fucking cute. im considering wearing them in public haha. i feel like baking cookies or summat whenever i wear one.
-casara is moving. there goes a close member of my very small group of friends.
-i wish i could say that i was closer to my goal of numbness but all i really feel nowadays is complete sorrow and i see no solution to it.
-it bugs me that the only time most of the people i know has tried to contact me in the last few months is when they are worried about me/my house. and then i tell them whats going on and they offer to help me in any way they can(which i dont think most can really help) and then i dont hear from them again. fuck... ive tried to talk to these people over the last few months and leave them a note or messege over the last few months and nothing back from them till the fires happen and they call me once.
*sigh* im tired of fake sypathy and fake friends.
i think im just tired in general. ive felt cranky all week cause of this lack of sleep and lack of personal space. my room is the fucking living room and we havent even put a cutain or anything to sheild my room from everything else "we dont have time to do that yet" my mom says. i cant wait for her to go back to work tomorrow. being around her this much is starting to bug me. ugh... life sucks.
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[23 Oct 2007|11:37am] |
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mood |
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 devastated |
] |
my home is gone.......
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[18 Oct 2007|09:05pm] |
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ah fuck....
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| hrm... interesting idea.... too bad it would never work in america |
[17 Oct 2007|02:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
How about this?
America Needs A Leader Like This!
Prime Minister John Howard - Australia
Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.
A day after a group of mainstream
Muslim leaders pledged loyalty to Australia and her Queen at a special meeting with Prime Minister John Howard, he and his Ministers made it clear that extremists would face a crackdown. Treasurer Peter Costello, seen as heir apparent to Howard, hinted that some radical clerics could be asked to leave the country if they did not accept that Australia was a secular state, and its laws were made by parliament. 'If those are not your values, if you want a country which has Sharia law or a theocratic state, then Australia is not for you', he said on National Television
'I'd be saying to clerics who are teaching that there are two laws governing people in Australia : one the Australian law and another Islamic law that is false. If you can't agree with parliamentary law, independent courts, democracy, and would prefer Sharia law and have the opportunity to go to another country, which practices it, perhaps, then, that's a better option', Costello said.
Antiqua''>Asked whether he meant radical clerics would be forced to leave, he said those with dual citizenship could possibly be asked to move to the other country. Education Minister Brendan Nelson later told reporters that Muslims who did not want to accept local values should 'clear off. Basically people who don't want to be Australians, and who don't want, to live by Australian values and understand them, well then, they can basically clear off', he said.
Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST
ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'
'However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the 'politically correct' crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to <ST1:PLACE
w:st='on'>Australia</ST1:PLACE
.' 'However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.' 'This idea of Australia being a multi-cultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. And as Australians, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle.'
'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought
freedom'
'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!'
'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact,
because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'
'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'
<DIV
class='MsoNormal'>'If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don't like 'A Fair Go', then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. By all means, keep your culture, but do not force it on others.
'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done
complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,
'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.'
'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So
accept the country YOU accepted.'
Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, American citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths.
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[25 Sep 2007|12:45am] |
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so im really furious right now.... like i dont even know what to say
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| ramblings about whats on my mind right now. |
[23 Sep 2007|11:10pm] |
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so i saw dillon today. it made me realize that i still have feelings for him... i dont know if that will ever go away. its been like a year sinse i talked to him and i didnt even get to talk to him today. we just exchanged smiles. i really wanted to talk to him though.... he was with corina... hes been engaged to her for a while now.... i just cant help but know that hes with the wrong girl. not that i think im the right one but i know that she isnt. it got me to thinking... it was about 3 or four years ago that i dated him and he and i shared a mutual attraction for 3 whole years before that. its so weird for me to think that its been that long that ive known him and had a connection with him. even if we dont see each other for a long time. i miss talking to him. hes just... i dont really know how to explain it... him and i have just always had something special. if things had lasted longer with him im sure it would have developed into a great love. maybe i'll have another chance with him someday. im terribly disapointed that things ended the way they did with him but we still remained friends afterwards. i wonder if he'll ever call me.... i could see in his eyes that he wanted to talk to me today but he didnt.... hrm the thought just occoured to me, am i attracted to guys who are total messes? dillon has always had problems with drugs and social things. tone always had problems with... alot of things. and other previous relationships werent very good either... hm.. there are so many things to think about and question but theres no answers. god damnit.
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| just a thought... |
[17 Sep 2007|09:29pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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rasputina |
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i dont get why when someone drinks alone its considered an alcoholic thing to do but when someone say.... smokes pot its mostly scoffed at but doesnt get a comment like "oh your such a drug addict for doing that alone!"
at least thats what ive encountered...
thoughts? comments?
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[01 Sep 2007|01:00am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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sneaker pimps |
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hrm... i really dont know what to say about either of the comments on 3-23-07.............
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| so it been like 3 months... figure i should update a bit |
[24 Aug 2007|12:39am] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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tricky |
] |
lets see....
im seeing less and less of tone. its now like once a month and when we hang out he lies. it bugs me cause i know more than he thinks i do so i sit there and listen to him and pick out every lie in my head. fucker....
um... jasmins mom thinks that she and i are gay together. haha. her mom hear from some dyke that ihavent even talked to in forever that im a lesbian and jasmin is bi and that we sleep together all the time. quite rediculous.
my mom is still a total drunkard/pothead. a broke one at that. well shes been broke for a while but she can borrow much more money...
still have absolutly no love life.
considering dying my hair back to black cause blue is just too much of a hassle and i dont have the money to keep dying it.
my dad is still an asshole.
still vegetarian.
still smoke cigarettes.
my animals are still awsome.
im teaching myself to knit.
myspace is still gay.
i guess thats it. i cant really think of what to type about my life.
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| aw i love my gramma |
[11 May 2007|01:47am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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so last night i stayed at tones(after not seeing or talking to him for almost 3 weeks) and i came home today around 8pm. my gramma was like "oh im glad you spent time with tone. i was afraid that you guys had broken up" opps totally thought she knew about all of that(well minus us breaking up because of my lack of sex drive) so i was like "oh... yeah we did... a while ago.. but we are still friends and everything" i didnt have the heart to tell her that it happened like 2 or 3 months ago... i thought that my mom told her about it or that i mentioned it. wow... i felt kinda bad... but yeah then we got in a discussion about how young people are bad at break ups but that its kinda understandable. and she told me about when she was you and she was breaking up with a guy and he was asking her what he did wrong and all that she she told him "well i just dont want to go steady with you anymore" hahaha shes so cute!! but thats how it really is though! dating is an experiment to see how compatible you are and most of the time there isnt a real connection. *shrug* not like im saying that tone and i dont have a connection cause we do but i just cant give him all he needs and he he is an awesome guy/boyfriend but... yeah.. anyways. im kinda rambling so... i think im done...
g'night!!!
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[05 May 2007|09:06am] |
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ugh... waking up at 8 is waaaaayyyy too early for me... especially when really i couldve gotten another hour at least and would have had time to get ready for rehersal. that i dont even have to look good for. i just have to change out of jammies and put on eyeliner... god my family sucks...
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[30 Apr 2007|06:02pm] |
so now... i get to put all the music in my house in the computer.... the process begins now!! and i expect it to take a few days haha or a week. yeah... i think ima be super selective about what goes on. so that means alot of my moms cds arent gonna happen haha.
i think ima go dye my hair to waste some time... :> wee
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[29 Apr 2007|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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*sigh* today was such a pointless day in town...
oh yeah and its confirmed. jasmins mom does hate me. i went in and bought cigarettes and she didnt say a word to be and acted irritated. fuck.....
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| ew my hair is green now.... who wants to go to sally's and buy dye? please? |
[28 Apr 2007|03:00pm] |
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music |
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VAST 'land of shame' |
] |
so my computer is finally fucking working again. well it is for the most part. i am pretty sure that i lost like everything that was on it (music pictures ect) so taht really sucks but right now im just happy to be able to go online. haha its been broken for like a month!! ive had to go to my dads to check stuff(and that only happened twice) so yeah.... i dunno pretty melancholy day. i want to bleach my roots (cause it really needs to be done haha) but i forgot that im not supposed to wash my hair right before i bleach and alas i just got out of the shower.... oh well ill probably do it when my hair is dry anyways haha. so jasmin is pretty much grounded till she turns 18. its pretty gay. i miss her. shes been grounded for a month already and i am not allowed to go over there. i think her mom hates me now and blames me for everything. *sigh* oh well.... she'll eventually get over the fact that jasmin isnt perfect but is a damn good kid when you consider what most 16 years olds are like. so um.... i kinda just got lost in zoning out and forgot what else i wanted to say.... damnit. i guess i remember later and post again.
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| so.... i hate my moms hick fuckin boyfriend.... |
[24 Mar 2007|07:59pm] |
that ass knows full well that i dont eat meat and he brings a peice of venesin over for me to try. i was like " no fuck you" and walked away. if he trys to shove that shit in my face when its cooked hes gonna get kicked in the nuts. well i dont want anything of mine to touch him so.... i dunno he'll get something maybe ill spit in his face.... haha im just like planning things i can do cause i hate her boyfriend.
there are many more complaints i have about him but i dont really feel like getting into it.
i really wish she wouldnt have gotten back together with him. she broke up with him like a week ago. i was happy about that haha. but after a few days i found out she was out on a date with him after work.... damn that woman.
and i really wish i wasnt at my house but at least i have jasmin here and she knows what i have to deal with regarding him....
i wish i was at metal night but i couldnt find a ride. its been one of those days where nobody answers their phone... damn you all!!!
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[23 Mar 2007|11:21am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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Rasputina |
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woohoo i just bought tool tickets!!! my mom was so sad that she didnt have tickets to the first show but they just announced the 2nd and they came on sale at noon so i got right on that shit and got my mom and i pretty good seats. i think my brothers are gonna kinda suck. haha ooops!!! oh well... im just happy to finally go see them.
my brother called me like 5 times trying to wake me up at like 10:30 to make sure there wasnt a presale..... that bastard. i finally answered and was like "im fucking up!!" and then i hung up on him haha ahh 5 hours of sleep for today!! haha whatever ill just think all the coffee my gramma made.
in another part of life,
my friend randal had a minor heart attack earlier in the week. it sucks that hes only 21 and that bullshit happens to him.....anyway, hes at home now so jasmin and i went to go visit him. we was a bit medicated but it was cool to see him. when he came to the door he looked at us and was like "red light green light!!!"(refering to our hair) i think its our new nickname from him haha. the doctors said hes not allowed to drink or smoke anymore. i think he has cut back from like a pack every other day to one cig a day and hasnt had anything to drink at all. im glad that hes being smart about it and choosing to fucking live haha.
apperently he had fun shooting the last of his shitty natural ice/ass beer. he said that he had had a steel reserve for me but his uncle threw it at some fucker that was trying to start shit. i guess it wasnt a complete loss..... it hit the guy in the head.... but i have been missing my steelies lately. its always been some other fucking beer that isnt as good.... *sad face* heh
oh well... im gonna go back and visit him again today. watch a movie or sumthin. *shrug* he cant really walk too far. not that he lives far from town but i dont want him to walk farther than he should.
i wish i had more money on my barnes and nobile gift certificate... i did have like 15 on it but i bought a $5 book today and the shipping is around $3... so i have 6 something left on it... hrm... i guess i'll try to find a 3 dollar book!! haha i should probaby do that in the store so that i dont have to pay for the shipping.... blah...
and andre when to visit tammy!!!! thanks for inviting me asshole!! people ask me why i still want talk to her. i am not really sure how to respond. despite all the shit she did to me i still want to see her.... is that wrong? .......i dunno. it would have been interesting to go see her and her life over in colorado..... even if it was only a few days...
ooh another metal night on saturday!!! *happyness* although its usualy hardcore bands... i dont really care. haha ah... i cant believe java joes was bought out by *sigh* cuppys.... thats such a dumb name...
well i think im gonna get ready to go into town and make some breakfast and junk.
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